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Happy Birthday Techgirl

Tech, Wishing you a wonderful birthday filled with love and everything you deserve for being the special person that you are.

Much love and hugs,


I'd like to thank all those who sent me birthday wishes. It meant the world to me. It certainly brightened my day. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

♥ Love ~ Cathy ♥

Happy Birthday Eileen_Donovan

Eileen, Wishing you a wonderful birthday filled with love and laughter. You deserve everything for being the special person that you are. I'm proud of the way you stand up and fight for our rights.

Much Love ~ Cathy

Happy Birthday Janet...

Many Happy Birthday Wishes for you, My Dear Friend. I hope your day is filled with love and laughter. You are a wonderful writer. A true inspiration.

XOXO ~ Cathy

Happy Birthday Kathleen...

Many Happy Birthday Wishes for you, My Dear Kathleen.  I hope your day is filled with love and laughter.  You are truly an inspiration.

Just Wondering....

Is there anyway to leave a comment on a story posted on Aly's GIH 4-Shared Mirror?

Gus Asks His Father Why It's Complicated

Author: britinmanor
Beta: none... all mistakes are the authors
A/N: I've never posted a story. I'm not sure how to 'collapse' the page. I also have no idea how to supply a banner. So, this one-shot will be one long story. Sorry it took up so much of your LJ page. Please give it a try, it's actually a love story.
Summary: On Gus' 17th birthday he has a conversation with his father, bringing Brian to realize he's been lost and misguided for two years.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I own nothing but this story
Comments are love.

It was Gus Kinney's seventeenth birthday.  Papa was giving him a small birthday party at Britin.  The only ones in attendance were his uncles; Emmett, Ted and Michael.  And, of course, his Dad, Papa and himself.

He had just come back outside after taking a phone call from one of his many friends wishing him a happy birthday. His father was currently grilling steaks, while his uncles stood around laughing and joking together. He looked around for papa and frowned when he saw him still sitting by himself on one of the lounge chaises by the pool. He glanced at his watch, realizing he had been inside for a little over an hour, and wondered why his Papa was sitting where was an hour ago.  It hurt a little to see his Papa once again by himself at one of these family gatherings.  He loved his Papa beyond belief and always felt a graditude towards him for helping get out from his moms house when he was ten. He had tried talking to his Dad a few times when he had either come up to see him in Toronto, or spoke on the phone, about how unhappy he was living with his two moms, but his dad usually just joked about women and estrogen and said he sympathized with him.  He mentioned it a couple of times to Uncle Michael when he had come up to visit Jenny, but he just laughed and said he lived a mother once, and not let it get to him.

So, one night when his Papa called him from New York, he mentioned how he hated living with his moms.  His Papa became concerned and asked him, "Why?"  Well, that was a first. Nobody had ever asked him that before.

He got up from his bed and locked his door, not wanting to take any chance that one of his moms would again walk in unannounced. He told him how they acted towards him. Mom was always gone, flitting from gallery to gallery, trying to find work or just going to shows trying to make contacts with people in the art world, and ignoring him and Jenny when she was home.  Also, when she was home, mom and mama were always fighting because of the amount of time she was never home, and his mama felt his mom should just get a job somewhere else.

Mama was even worse.  He told him she a callous, mean person who hated him. She was forever putting him down and calling him names, and saying he would grow up to be a narcissistic asshole no better than his father. Those words hurt him the most, because he loved his father, even more than his mothers. Papa asked him a lot questions, some which he hated answering, and over a half an hour later, he told him to be strong for a couple more days and he would be up to visit him.

Imagined how surprised he was when he got home from school a couple days later, to not only see his Papa had shown up to see him, but his Dad was with him.  He figured they'd been arguing for awhile from the looks on their faces and the heated argument he had walked in on. Papa was the first to notice the him, and stood up and came over giving him an extra tight hug, and apologizing to him for him having to have heard them arguing.  He told him it was an everyday occurence and not to let it bother him, earning him a death glare from his mama and a funny look from his dad, that he couldn't really read. Papa asked him to go upstairs and do any homework he had, and get changed as him and his Dad were going to take him out for supper.

They went to a restaurant that had always been one of his favorites that his Dad usually took him to when he came up to see him. During the meal, his Dad talked to him about everything that had been going on at the house. He became a little upset because he could see his dad getting angry, although he knew it wasn't directed towards him, but at the situation. Dad asked him what he wanted him to do, and he told them he didn't want to live with his mothers anymore, and how he had contemplated running away a couple of different nights when the yelling had been so bad, and glasses were being thrown at the walls,  breaking. He told them one night the police had shown up about one o'clock in the morning, because one of the neighbors had called them. He told them how scared he was on the nights when he was not able to drown out the yelling, and how Jenny would come into his room sleeping with him because she scared, too.

They left the restraurant and headed home, his Dad and Papa reassuring him they were  going to straighten everything out tomorrow while he was at school. When they arrived home his Papa gave him another one his tight hugs telling him how much he loved him.  His Dad walked him up to the house, apologizing about not listening better when he would say he didn't like living with his moms and his concerns where his mothers were, then giving him a hug telling he would see him after school tomorrow.

When he got home from school the next day, he found his clothes, computer, and his other stuff packed and was told he was going to live with them in the house in West Virginia. How Papa would be coming back from New York in a week or so, to live with them, too.  They a had plane leaving in an hour, so they needed to get going.  He looked at his moms and told them goodbye. His mom asked him if he was going to give her a hug and kiss before he left, and he asked, "Why?"  He told her that she hadn't hugged him in a long time, why would he hug her now? Mama looked like she was going to hit him when he said that, but Papa stepped forward and put his arm around his shoulders and said they better get going.

In the seven years he had been living with his fathers , the moms had not bothered him once. Not even a phone call. He found out about six months later that his moms had split up, because mom had been sleeping around with a lot a men, hoping to get a job in a gallery. Mama had taken Jenny and left Canada, not even letting Uncle Michael know where they were. Only after a few years later, when he fully understood everything, he realized his mom was slut. A whore. Who was using sex for her own employment, and receiving money for a home and living expenses. He was so embarrassed, and so grateful that Papa had put everything in motion to have gotten him of that home when he did.

He shook his head at the memories, and went over to talk to Papa. After they talkd for awhile, he looked his Papa in the eye and said, "Why are you sitting over by yourself?"

Papa looked back at him and said to him, "Don't worry about it, Gus.  I'm fine with sitting by myself."

Gus said, "Well, it's not right, Papa."

Papa said, "Gus, it doesn't concern you, so just drop it. It's complicated."

Gus looked at him for about ten seconds and told him he going in the house, and thanked for getting everybody together for his birthday.

He was walking towards the house, glanced back to see if his Papa was watching him, and when he saw wasn't, he walked over to his Dad, and said, "Dad, tonight when everybody leaves and Papa goes to bed, would you sit down with me in your study, because I have something I really need to talk to about."

Dad said, "Is something wrong, SonnyBoy?"

"No, Dad. I just have a couple of questions I need answers to."

"Okay. I'll come up to your room and get you after Justin goes to sleep."

"Thanks, Dad. I'm going in the house for awhile. Would you come and get me when the steaks are done?"

"Sure. But, it will only be about five more minutes."

"Oh. I'll just go in and use the bathroom and come back out then."

Supper was as usual. Uncle Michael sat by Dad, monopolizing his attention, and the conversation. Gus and Justin sat at the other end of table. Papa was a quiet throughout the meal, speaking only when Gus would ask him a question.

Later, when Justin said his goodnights, and wished everyone a safe trip home, and went to bed, Uncle Emmett and Uncle Ted wished Gus a happy birthday, and left too, saying it was getting late.  Uncle Michael sat on the couch, making himself comfortable, and asking Dad to visit for awhile.

About twenty minutes later, Gus walked in, and asked his Dad how long he would be, and reminded him that he wanted to talk to him, and would appreciate it if it could be tonight.

Dad looked at him annoyed. Gus figured it had to do with the fact that he had been a little rude. But, Gus didn't care. He was going to get to bottom of Papa's quietness, and what Papa had said to him earlier about something being 'complicated'.

Dad walked back in and told him to follow him to the study.  They sat quietly for a few moments, before his father predictably said he hadn't appreciated the way he spoke to him in front of Mikey.

"Okay, Gus, what did you want to talk about? Are you having problems in school, or is this about your lack of a love life?"

"Hey! That comment was more than a little rude. I've been spending a lot of time with Papa studying for my SAT's. And, if you were around on the weekends, you'd realize my love life, as you called it, was just fine."

"Sorry, Gus.  I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean for it sound like that. So, just what did you wanna talk about?"

"Have you noticed how quiet Papa is lately?"

"No.  What do you mean?"

"Did you even notice what was going on today during my birthday party?"

"Sure. I was grilling the steaks and vegetables. The guys were standing around talking and laughing. I noticed you were in the house for over an hour."

"That's right. That's what was going on. But, you left one person out in that explanation.  Did you notice where Papa was all afternoon?"

"Wasn't he standing with the guys, talking?"

Gus shook his head, feeling slightly disappointed in his father. "No, he wasn't.  He was sitting in the lawn chaise by the pool. By himself. The same as he does everytime they are here."

"Gus, I don't understand what you are trying to say. If Justin chooses to be by himself instead of joining the party, that's certainly his problem."

"Dad, do you still love him?"

"What's that supposed to mean? Of course I love him. Why would you even feel the need to ask me that?"

"Maybe because you never seem to be around him anymore. Maybe because you spend six days a week working long hours at Kinnetik, and at least four nights with Uncle Michael, going out to Woody's or Babylon, or where ever you two go at night. And the nights when you are home, you spend in here in your office, working."

"Did Justin say something to you? Because, he really shouldn't be talking to you about that stuff. Besides, you know Mikey needs me, since Grandma Deb and Uncle Ben died. He doesn't have anyone else."

"First off, Papa didn't say anything to me. When I did ask him what why he was so quiet, and withdrawn from everything, he told it wasn't any of my business and to stay out of it, saying it was complicated. Secondly, why does Uncle Michael need you so bad? Grandma Deb died four years ago, and Uncle Ben died over two years ago. Don't you think maybe myself and Papa need you, too?  Uncle Michael calls you as soon as get in the door after work, and within the hour you're gone again. Papa told me it was complicated, and I want  you to explain to me what he meant when he said that. Maybe, if you explained it me, I will understand better, and be able to talk to Papa when he gets into those withdrawn moods."

Brian was quiet for a minute letting what Gus said to him, sink in. Had it really been over two years since Ben died? "Gus, Justin was right. It is complicated. Why don't you go up to bed. It's getting late. I have a meeting at 8:00, so I need to get up early tomorrow. I'll talk more to you tomorrow."

Gus looked at him for a solid minute, not believing his dad could brush him off so easily.

"Whatever", he said, and got up and walked out.

Brian looked after him going out the door, swearing he heard Gus also say, "If your not too busy with Uncle Michael". There was no, "goodnight,dad or I love you, dad"  which he usually said before going to bed.

Brian went over and poured himself a large glass of Beam, and went over and sat on the sofa.  His mind wandered over the last couple years. It was true what Gus was saying. Mikey was calling him several times a day, begging him each day to go out with, until he relented and told him, "Sure, I'll make some time this evening."  It was also true that practically the minute he'd walked in door at night, Mikey was calling him. How could he time that so perfectly?  It seemed to Brian, that somehow Mikey knew just when he left work. He didn't want to think of the implications of that reality.

Brian thought back to todays party. He remembered how happy he was to hear Mikey so laid back, laughing and joking with Emmett and Ted. He remembered Mikey sitting next to him, like it was a race to get the seat next to him when he had sat on the end of the bench at the picnic table. Again, with the laughing and talking. Constantly touching him on his hand or arm. He shuddered. What was Mikey playing at?  He promised himself years ago that he was done letting Mikey come between him and Justin, only to have had it happened again. He could recall the many times Micky was always pointing out guys he thought were really good looking, and telling Brian, "You should go after that guy, Brian.  He's pretty fuckable in my opinion, and he's just your type". Brian would either ignore him, or tell him he had Justin at home and that was all he wanted, and so Mikey should go after him. "No, I will just stay at bar, but you can take him to backroom if you want."

He asked Mikey several times where Em and Ted were, and Micky would always say, "They were busy or tired from working all day." Now Brian wondered if Mikey had even been asking them. Brian ran his hands over his face, squeezing his eyes with thumbs. Mikey had definitely played him. He always insisted he join him, and when he'd say he was too busy, Mikey started in on how he needed his best friend to help get through the evening, because he missed Ben so much. But, if was honest with himself, Mikey never portrayed himself as such, when they spent the evenings together. He usually had to beg off to go home, sometimes as late as two in the morning. And, then the very next day, Mikey was calling him on his cell, sometimes so early in the morning he hadn't even gotten to work yet.

And where was Justin all this time? Gus was right, once again. He had to admit he didn't know how Justin spent his days or evenings. All he knew for sure was that he got up in morning, made everyone breakfast, saw him and Gus off, and then what?  He always had supper ready at night, and after supper, he'd clean the kitchen, as Brian headed to his study, or an evening out with Mikey. But, he had admit, Gus seemed to dominate the conversation at the table, with only a question or comment thrown in from himself or Justin.
Sometimes, when he got in from a night out with Mikey, he'd wake Justin up so they could have sex. Then Justin would roll over, telling him goodnight, and sleeping on his side of the bed. How long had it been since Justin slept on his own side of the bed? He couldn't remember when the last time was he wrapped his arms around Justin, and slept that way. He would usually be so exhausted, he turn over and go to sleep.

Why was Justin still here? Did he feel some sort of obligation to their marriage? Then he realized it was probably because of Gus.  Somebody had to take care of his son. Sure, he was old now to spend evenings by himself. But, two years ago he wasn't. And, what was Gus saying about Justin spending his evenings helping him study for his SAT's?

Was Justin even drawing or painting anymore?  He remembered Justin saying he was going to take some time off from doing shows after Deb died. Gus was only thirteen then, and Justin wanted to take the time to spend with Gus to help him get through his grief over losing Deb. Then, eighteen months later, Ben had died, and Brian had been an absentee Dad ever since.

Brian didn't even realize silent tears ran down his face, until he tasted the salty wetness on his mouth. He shook himself out of his reverie, glancing at the clock on the mantle, and seeing it was already five in the morning. Three hours until his meeting, which meant he had to leave in about two hours. He pulled himself up off the sofa, and headed upstairs. He went into the guest bathroom and took a shower, then dressing in the same clothes he had just discarded.

After a moments hesitation, he made his way to Justin's studio. There was one lone portrait in the middle of the studio on the easel. The middle of the portrait held a very detailed, beautiful picture of Brian. In one corner there was a small picture of Michael. Nothing else. No Justin. No Gus. It tore Brian's heart in two. He glanced around the studio and didn't even see a single sketchbook. Nothing on the shelves. Walking over to the cabinets, he in glanced in the drawers, and still found no sketchbooks. Where were all his sketchbooks?  He must have over a hundred of them by now.

He wondered if Justin had given up his love for creating art. And if so, when had it happened. Was it after Deb had died, or was it after Ben had died. And again, what happened to his sketchbooks? Had he thrown them away at some point? Brian couldn't even fathom him doing something like that. Either he had done just that, or he had packed them all away somewhere. Which, either way, meant he wasn't creating. Brian apparently killed that dream too.

Brian made his back downstairs and went into his study again. He pulled up the information on his client today on his computer, and went through the campaign again. He knew the pitch and the boards backwards and forwards, so it really was a useless waste of time.
So, he went back upstairs to get dressed for the day. He dressed as quietly as possible, so not to wake Justin. When he was done, he went back downstairs to leave. Before he left, he picked up a pad of paper and a pen, to leave a note for Justin.


I fell asleep in my study last night. When I woke up, I decided to leave for work early, as I have a pitch at 8:00. I will be done for the day after that, so I should be home by noon. I hope you have a good morning, Sunshine, and I'll see you then.

All My Love,


Brian made his way into the office, leaving a note for Cynthia, that he was already at work, and would like to see her as soon as she arrived. In the meantime, he set up the boardroom for the meeting, and set all the boards up. That wasn't his job, and he couldn't remember the last time he had even done that. It was just something to keep him busy.

Cynthia arrived about a half hour after Brian had, and upon seeing the note, she went and put coffee on, waiting until enough was brewed, and making her to Brian's office, two cups of coffee in hand.

She found Brian sitting at his desk, staring blankly at the computer screen that only showed a google page.

"Brian?" No answer.  Then a little louder, she repeated his name, and set his coffee down in front of him.

Brian looked up a little startled, realizing he hadn't even heard her come in.

"Hey, Morning Cyn. Thanks for the coffee."

"Brian, what time did you get in this morning?"

"Uhm, half an hour or maybe forty minutes ago. I set up the boardroom for the meeting."

"Why would you do that?  I don't remember that being part of your job description."

"Ha-ha, Cynthia. I woke up early, so I came in. Not really having much to do, I thought I'd get out of the way."

"Okaaay... What did you want to see me about?"

"If Michael calls this morning, remind him I have a meeting at 8:00, so I can't take any calls from him. Also, if he calls after that, tell him I'm out for day, trying to drum up more business, so my cell phone will be off. You can transfer his calls to my office phone if he wants to leave a message. I will actually be going home for the day. I didn't get much sleep last night, and I'm kinda tired. If he wants to be transferred to Ted, tell him he's taking my place today, and can't be bothered."

Cynthia stood up, picking up her coffee cup. She made her way to his office door, opening it, before turning around to Brian, saying, "Thank-you, Brian. I hope you have a very nice day at home. Say hi to Justin for me. Tell him I'd like to see him again, sometime." Then she left the office, shutting the door quietly behind her.

Brian stared at the closed door, his brow furrowing, wondering what Cynthia meant by saying, "thank-you."

Ted arrived about 7:30 that morning for work. A couple of minutes later, Brian had shown up at his door.

"Theodore, are you ready for the meeting this morning?"

"Sure, Bri. Is there some specific reason you think I wouldn't be?"

"No, just checking. I will meet you in the board room in fifteen minutes. Oh, and Ted?  I will be leaving for the day after the meeting. I just want you to be aware of no personal calls during business hours. Not on the company phone, or your cell phone. And that means anyone. Not even for your dear friend, Emmett, or Michael. And make sure if you meet them for lunch at the diner, or after work for drinks,  no mention of me and my where abouts. And no mention of Kinnetik. Got that?  If I find out different, your job is on the line. And this isn't some idle threat."

Ted stared after the man as he made his way of out his office. That had to be the weirdest conversation he had with Brian, in the thirteen years since he opened the doors of Kinnetik. 'What was going on', Ted wondered.

True to his word, Brian left the office that day, about 11:30. When he opened the door to his home, the house was quiet. 'Where was Justin', he thought. He made his way to the kitchen. Still, no Justin. He went to the media room, only to find a movie on, with the volume turned off, and a sleeping Justin on the couch. 'What was Justin doing sleeping this time of the day'? He decided to go to the kitchen where he made a light lunch and set the table. Then he made his way back to the media room, and a sleeping Justin.

"Sunshine, wake up," he said, as he gently shook him.

Sleepily, he opened his eyes, staring at Brian, he said, "Oh hey. You're home early. Why are you home this early, Brian?"

"I decided to leave after my meeting, and come home and spend the day with you. Didn't you get the note I left you this morning? I left it by the coffee pot."

"Yeah, I saw the note; just didn't think you'd really be here, I guess. Have you eaten anything? I'll go make some lunch for you."

"No need. I already made some lunch. It's on the kitchen table. Just waiting for my sleeping husband to join me."

"Oh. Sorry, I fell asleep. Didn't mean to keep you waiting."

"No problem. I can make lunch for you sometimes, too. I'm not exactly helpless."

They sat quietly at the table eating lunch, Brian occasionally trying to make small talk with Justin, but only getting one or two word responses from him. When they were finished, Brian asked Justin if he would like to watch a movie.

Justin looked warily at him, before giving a small shrug, and saying, "Sure, why not?"

They settled on a movie, sat on sofa, and Brian opened his arms and told Justin to sit by him. Brian could feel the tenseness in Justin's body, as they watched the movie. About two-thirds of the way into the movie, Brian softly asked, "Sunshine, would you like to go out for supper tonight, just the two of us? Gus can order a pizza for himself."

It took a minute before Justin asked, without looking at Brian, "Don't you have any work tonight?"

"Nope. Just plans to spend the evening with you."

Hesitantly, Justin said, "Okay. That's sounds nice.  Are we going any place specific? What should I wear"?

"Something nice. Dressy."

There was no response after that, and they continued to watch the movie.

When Gus came home later that afternoon, he was surprised to see both his fathers asleep on couch. He made his way up to his room, where he changed out of his uniform, then started on his homework. About 5:00, hearing a knock on his door, he yelled, "Come in." Looking up, expecting to see Papa, he was surprised to see his Dad.

"Hey, SonnyBoy. I'm taking Papa out for supper, so you're on your own tonight. You can order one of those greasy pizzas you like so much. Menus are on the counter, along with the credit card. Will you okay tonight by yourself? Maybe you can take a night out from studying and enjoy a movie or something."

"Sounds good, Dad. Thanks. Have a nice evening."

And that's what they had. A nice evening, and a delicious meal. Conversation was a bit stilted at the beginning, but Justin finally started opening up, asking questions about Kinnetik. 'Who were his latest clients, what were their campaigns like, if sales were doing good'. Nothing too personal, but Brian counted it as a win. Brian had kept his cell phone off since he left the office that day, not wanting to be disturbed.

The ride home was a comfortable silence.

When they reached their bedroom, Brian excused himself to use the bathroom. When he got in there, he turned his phone on to check his messages. 'Jesus Christ! There was 18 missed calls. All from Michael.'

When he got into bed, he pulled Justin into his arms and made sweet love to him, and afterwards, holding him in his arms, they fell asleep.

The next morning when Brian got into work, he stopped by Ted's office, reminding him of the no personal phone calls during work hours, and his whereabouts were not to be discussed. Ted thought once again of the strangeness of the request, and thought of the five missed calls from Michael yesterday. Something was definitely going on, but he owed to Brian to accept his requests.

That day, Ted received eight calls from Michael, each voicemail getting louder and more demanding, telling him to get Brian to call him. Ted finally called Emmett that night,asking him if he was getting phone calls from Michael. Emmett confirmed he was getting them too, but finally quit answering his phone.

The next morning, when Brian once again stopped by Ted's open door, Ted held up his hand, silencing him before he had a chance to speak.

"Bri, I know what you're going to say, so you don't have to repeat yourself for the third morning in a row. You don't owe an explanation, but just so you know, Michael's been blowing up both Emmett's and my phones. We're not taking his phone calls either. I don't know what's going on, but Michael is very belligerent with his demands to know where you are and to speak to you. If I can ask, how long has this been going on?"

Brian wearily sat down in a chair, sighing, saying,"Since Ben died."

"WHAT?  Tell me your joking. That's been over two years, Bri".

"Are you telling me that he hasn't been bothering you and Emmett to go out at night?"

"He's never called me to go out. And, I'm sure if he would have asked Emmett, Emmett would have called me to go along with them."

"CHRIST! I can't believe this bullshit! He's been calling me everyday, telling me how much he misses Ben, begging to go out with him. Telling me he needs his best friend. I've been going out at least four nights a week with him. Everytime I ask him where you and Emmett are, he said he called you guys and you were always either busy or too tired to go out."

"And this has this been going since Ben died?"


"What has Justin had to say about all this"?

"That's just it, Ted. He hasn't said anything. I didn't even realize how long this has been going on, until Gus brought it to my attention the night of his birthday party. Not that that's how he said it, but he questioned me why Justin was so quiet all the time. Pointing out that I wasn't home often enough to see how quiet and reserved he was, what asking me if I could explain to him. When I told him I couldn't help but not be home because Mikey needed me, he asked why Mikey needed so much when Ben had been dead for over two years. Needless to say, I was at a loss words. Everytime we've been out to Babylon, Mikey points out really hot guys, telling me I should take them into the backroom and fuck them, telling me they are just my type. He's knows Justin and I have been in a monogamous relationship since we got married six years ago, so I don't know what he thought I was gonna do, but I certainly was not gonna take someone in the backroom and fuck them, since Justin and I have been fucking raw for six years. I'm getting to the point I can hardly take being in the man's presence."

"WOW... I guess I really don't know what to say, but it explains a lot. On the way home from the party, Emmett and I talked about how quiet and detached Justin had been. We both noticed how he hardly ate anything that night. We just thought maybe he wasn't feeling well."

"That's not the only thing, but I realized that night that Justin hasn't been painting or sketching, probably since Deb died, with the exception of one painting, and don't even ask me what that was about, as it makes me want to throw up everytime I think about it. And the times I did question myself about going out, all I had to think if that had been Justin, I would have needed someone, too. Although, I can say, it wouldn't have gone on this long. Since I realized what has been going on, I've been questioning myself how all this got so out of proportion. How I didn't see what Michael was doing. I promised myself a long time ago, that I wouldn't let Michael come between Justin and I ever again, but that's just what happened. I'm actually surprised Justin is still living at Britin, and I'm not so sure he would be, if Gus hadn't been there."

"Bri, would you mind if I talked to Emmett a little bit about this?  I'll only tell the minor details, and maybe we can come up with something. Something to get this craziness under control."

"If you can think of anything to help me, I'd appreciate it. I can't lose Justin, Ted. I know he's been kinda confused these last few days, trying to figure out what's going on, and why I suddenly seem like a family man again. I've wanted to talk to him, but I don't know  what to say to him, when I don't even know myself.  Listen, I'm gonna get to work. Thanks for listening, Ted. You're a good friend."

To say Ted was a little shocked at the words spoken by his boss, was an understatement.  As the day dragged on, Ted fielded another ten calls from Michael.  When he finally wandered out to see if Cynthia was getting the same calls, he came upon her speaking to Michael. You could hear Michael on the phone, screaming at her if she didn't get Brian right now, he was going to tell Brian that she was a rude bitch, and he was going to have Brian fire her. At that point, Cynthia just hung up on him. She also told Ted that strict orders had been given to the security guards to keep Michael out of the building.

Ted left and went home and called Emmett right away, telling him they needed to talk ASAP. When Emmett showed up to Ted's fifteen minutes later, Ted wasted no time in telling him the situation. Emmett was more than slightly shocked.  They spent the next hour trying to come up with something, finally agreeing on a course of action.

Ted arrived to the next day, heading immediately to Brian's office. He knocked once and entered the office, sitting down in front of Brian's desk. He explained what him and Emmett and come up with, before standing to leave the office. Brian stood too,  and said, "Thanks, Ted. I'll give Michael a call and tell him to meet me tonight at Woody's at 5:30. I should still be able to be home by 7:00, and I plan on talking to Justin tonight, and try to explain everything."

"Okay, let me know if the plans change for any reason. Although, I don't see that happening.  And Bri; no matter how you word it tonight, remember Emmett and I have your back."

Brian called Michael and asked if he'd like to go out tonight, but insisted it had to be early, because he had something to do tonight. At first Michael was a little huffy, telling him he hadn't appreciated being ignored the last few days, but changed his tune when Brian told he was wanting to go out. You could the excitement in his voice, and Brian had to bite his tongue in order not to say anything. When 5:15 rolled around, Ted popped his head in Brian's office and told him he was headed out to go get Emmett, and to be sure they were at Woody's, before Brian came in.

When Ted and Emmett got to Woody's at 5:25, Michael was already there. They made their way over to the table, and sat down on either side of Michael, so that when Brian came in, he didn't have to sit next to Michael. Michael looked at them in surprise, not expecting to see them there. Ted told him that Brian mentioned having a drink tonight, and thought they'd come along.

Five minutes later, Brian strolled in, sitting at the vacant seat at the table. Michael stood up with a huge grin on his face telling him how happy he was to see him, trying to lean over to give a hug and kiss. Brian stepped back, and no contact was made. You could see the flicker of anger in Michael's eyes, before the annoyance set in.

"Hey Em, move , so I can sit by Brian. "

"That's okay, Michael. I like my seat."

"Ted, trade places with me."

"No, Michael. I'm fine just where I sitting."

Michael huffed and sat back down in his seat, fuming. He didn't try to hide his animosity, when he asked everyone why they were not taking his calls lately. Then he said, "Brian, you need to fire that bitch, Cynthia. She won't put any of my calls through to you, and she's told the security guards not to allow me access into the building. You can't let her have that much control in your company. She acts like she owns the place."

"Michael, she's taking her orders from me. And, I'm the one who gives the security guards their orders, not Cynthia. She's not the one acting as if she owns the place, you are."

"What are you talking about, Brian? I'm your best friend. Of course, I should access to the building, so I can come and see you when I want."

"Michael, listen to me. Are you listening?I'm not sure if you are delusional, or just refuse to believe I love Justin with my whole heart."

"Of course, I'm listening to you."

"Then listen closely, because I don't plan on having to repeat myself. Ted and Emmett are here incase you have a hard time understanding what I'm about to say. My office is a place of business. I don't have time to take fifteen calls from you a day, and that goes as well for Ted. I pay him to work, not sit there taking personal calls. As of tomorrow, your number will be blocked from my building."

"Brian, you can't do that! I need you. What am I going to do when I need you to help me dealing with Ben's death?"

"Michael, first of all, how long has it been since Ben died?"

"Not that long, Brian. I still need you."

"Michael, are you aware it's been over two years since Ben died? If you're having problems accepting his death, you need to go see a grief counselor. You haven't bothered to call Ted or Emmett to talk to them, even though you've been telling me for two years that you've been calling and inviting them everytime we go out together."

"What are talking about, Brian? Of course I call them."

Emmett shook head, and said, "No, Michael. You haven't called me once to out with you."

Michael looked at Ted and saw him shaking his head, too.

"No, Michael. Not me either."

"Brian, tell me you believe me. I'm your best friend. I'd never lie to you."

"That's two lies right there, Michael. Ted and Emmett wouldn't lie about something like that, and the second lie is you keep calling yourself my best friend. Justin has been my best friend for the past fifteen years."

"WHAT? You've got to be joking! Boy Wonder is just a trick. One who has never gone away."

"Michael, do you even hear yourself? Justin has been my husband for six years. We've been monogamous and fucking raw for six years. How DARE you call him just a trick!"

"Brian, now I know your pulling my leg.  Brian Kinney does not do monogamy, and DEFINITELY doesn't fuck raw. You're the poster boy for condom usage, for fucks sake!"

"Believe what you want, Michael. But have I ever lied to you? I'm not sure if you are delusional, or just refuse to believe I love Justin with my whole heart. Do you think I'm incapable of loving someone because I've never loved you? Ask around. I've been off the market for about seven years now. "

"No, I refuse to believe that."

"Fine.  I'm letting you know, in front of witnesses, that not only will my business number be blocked from your phone, but mine and Justin's cell phones, and our personal phone at Britin. I, myself, put the order to the security guards at Kinnetik to not allow you access into my building, and that won't change either. And, if you ever refer to Cynthia as a bitch again, you're not going to like the consequences. You need to grow up, Michael. I won't be going out with you anymore. I have a husband and son at home who are way more important to me, than you have ever been, or ever will be. I'm going home now. Right now, I'm barely tolerating you, and I can't even call you a friend of mine. You did a very good job of driving our friendship away. So, leave me and my famiy alone. Don't ever let me hear from anyone that you've hurt Justin in anyway, because I will have the cops on you in heartbeat."

That said, Brian got up and walked out of Woody's and out Michael's life, while everyone in Woody's gave a standing ovation to the former stud of Liberty Avenue.

Michael tried to scramble off his chair to run after Brian, but Ted and Emmett each held one of his arms in a tight grip, telling him to let it go, and to leave Brian alone. Brian was not his friend anymore, and he had no right to go after him, when Brian had particularly said to leave him alone. Michael looked around Woody's seeing everyone staring at him. He had tears streaming down his face. He heard comments, like 'pathetic', 'loser', 'pitiful',  and others just as bad. He knew he'd never be able show his face around Liberty Avenue again.

That night in bed, after Brian made love to Justin, they laid in each others arms. Brian drew small circles on Justin stomach. Finally, Brian broke the silence between them when he said, "I'm sorry, Sunshine."

"What are talking about, Brian? What do you have to be sorry about?"

"Because, I've been gone for two years, Sunshine. I'm ready to come home, if you still want me."

Justin felt the prickle of tears in his eyes, and he tried to make his voice sound strong when he said, "Brian, I love you. I have loved for seventeen years. That will never change. You may have gotten lost for a little while, but I waited for you to find your way home. Now you have, and I know you won't get lost again."

"I love you so much, Sunshine."

Brian clung on tight to his Sunshine. He realized if he let the sunshine lead the way, he'd never lose sight of his way again.  He vowed to himself to make it up to Justin and Gus, by being the best father and husband he could be. He'd get Justin into painting again, so he could show the world how proud he was of his husband.

He'd tell Gus tomorrow how sorry he was and tell him that he loved him, and that life was no longer complicated.

The End


I wanted to place a story idea on kinnetik dreams for a plot bunny. I got as far as realizing that I had to have an account in order to so.  I set one up, using the password I use for my live journal account, only to have it say that the "password doesn't match the one in our database". So I set a new password, and using the one I received through my email, I got the same message as before. After trying this 3 more times and getting the same response, I'm at a loss as to what to do.  I have a kick-ass idea for a very angsty story, one that will redefine an author who is able to write with a disturbing intensity and go into another worldly manner, probably one where very few authors are able to write. I have actually dreamed about the plot of this story, as ludicrous as that sounds. PLEASE, can somebody help me accomplish this password feat, so I can get my story idea out there.

I appreciate any help someone can give me.

Thanks so much for your help, Cathy


is kinnetildreams service down?  i can't access it.


Kathleen, Wishing you a wonderful birthday filled with love and everything you deserve for being the
special person that you are.

Much love and hugs,